If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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