honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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