I forgot how hot balto sounded
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
