Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
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Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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