Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
