"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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