He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
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He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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