Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
