those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
