Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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