Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
