i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
