Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
