I think scott just propositioned me for sex
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
