I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize