I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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