remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There's always time for handjobs
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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