This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
