Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
