kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize