dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
