I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
