There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
