Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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