i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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