I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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