I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
