He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
