I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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