i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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