I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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