His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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