What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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