THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
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I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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