Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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