Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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