Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
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we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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