Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
