dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
