i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
