I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
