That's intense
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
