"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
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Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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