so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
