did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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