He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize