Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
