Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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