just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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