its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize