awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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