hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
