I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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