Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
