I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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