When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
