I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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