yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
