He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
