break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
