You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
