I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
