she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
