winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize