I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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